hey peeps! man i suck at blogging. but i must say, it's been awesome. the no-blogging thing, i mean. i'm not worried about what to post, or making sure i'm taking a lot of pictures wherever we go. we're just living. it's funny though, the less i blog, the more i write in my actual journal. which has been kind of nice. it feels old school.
ivy has been growing, and in our eyes getting cuter and cuter every day. i must say, i'm so grateful i'm able to stay home with her. it's become a luxury that i know, in this day, is starting to become more rare. (for you moms that work, i have the most highest respect for you. promise.).
we went to the wedding singer at a school play that one of our young woman was is. i was actually kind of surprised at how provocative it was, but it was fun to see how much talent are in these younger kids. brads little brother, russ, is engaged and she is quite the dancer. we've been to her performances and they have literally left me CRAVING to dance my butt off. even though i ripple a heck of a lot more than i used to, dancing is still so fantastic to me. speaking of rippling, i have hit the plateau of a lifetime. for you moms that gained and lost, did you hit a big plateau where you're body just all of a sudden refused to lose weight? and if so, how did you get passed it? because the eating healthy and exercising daily isn't doing the trick anymore. the joys of pregnancy.
anyways, ivy just woke up and i literally got giddy to put her post-nap-soft-cheeks against mine. life is good with that little girl around...
i cannot fathom halloween is over. time is flying. seriously flying.
this year we had our, what's becoming an annual, halloween dinner with the halls.
gosh they can freaking cook.
i'm not kidding. like, foods my taste buds have never dreamed of. meals that i would literally pay 30 dollars a plate for. they spoil us rotten. that was the first time we left ivy at home with a sitter. when we were there eating and playing games, it felt as though our lives had never even skipped a beat. i was hyper like i always am, and we were crude like we always are. then the feeling of engorgement set in and for a minute there, we almost forgot we had the sweetest little baby waiting for us at home.
halloween was fun this year! we didn't have our annual Halloween bash, but we did have some neighbors over with some soup and games, and finished the night with a Hitchcock movie. it's always so fun getting to know new people. i've always loved it. there were times i was laughing so hard i almost started gagging from one of our neighbors. he surprised us all with his fantastic humor. and was making us laugh the entire night. those are the kinds of surprises i love when it comes to meeting new people.
this was the first year we actually bought candy and handed it out to trick-or-treaters. every. single. time our doorbell rang, you bet your freaking butt my heart skipped a beat and i ran to the door with my bowl of candy. i think one time i actually gave a kid 10 pieces. i loved it. and i can speak for brad when i say, we felt so grown up handing out candy to all of our neighbor kids. hope you guys all had a fantastic halloween night too!
that last picture is ivy after the "party". she was pooped from all the king sized candy bars i let her eat.
one of our favorite places came to sugarhouse! ekamai. run, don't walk.
i just love her face in this picture. she looks like angry old man.
brads cousin, whitney (who is only 23 may i remind you) opened up her own trendy cupcake shop in the riverwoods in provo. honestly-some of thee best cupcakes i've ever had. not to mention she's one of the cutest girls ever! go in and pay her a visit, and eat a cupcake. you won't regret it.
her smile honestly lights up my life. period. i live to make her smile. even it takes hours of weird and disgusting noises.
i hit up a fantastic pizza joint with lisa, brads mom. it was a wonderful day! we went and put flowers on her mothers grave then got pizza, sat and talked on a bench, and ate cupcakes. food always makes the heart grow fonder.
it's always so nice to be able to see leslie and brette (any cousins actually) and catch up on life and all that's going on in our lives. we both have little babes that are 2 months apart. so it's safe to say we had a lot of baby talk going on. sorry brette, i still feel bad about how annoying that probably was.
to sum up the week, we talked, ate and shopped. one day we literally shopped for 6 hours. 6. it was incredible. the babies were perfect. we both couldn't get over how well they were both doing with how long we shopped for. it's funny how the littlest things totally change after a baby. like sneaking in a diaper change in the dressing room, or having to go pump in the car and duck every time someone walked by, or have a feeding session with les in the underground parking lot while listening to music. and it all felt so natural, ha. like i've been doing those things all my life already.
i took them to some good eateries and stores, and the times we weren't doing those things-we met up with stace and talked and ate some more:). i'm tellin ya, it's what our family does best.
here's some pictures from the week. sorry about the poor quality-they were all taken with my phone.
brette- i cannot believe i didn't take one picture of you or with you. i'm so sorry! thank you guys so much for driving all the way down and hangin with me!! i loved it more than you'll ever know! thank you, thank you!
the whole week before me and brad kept thinking of things we wanted brad to mention in ivy's blessing. such as great hair, really good at the guitar or piano, and my personal favorite-the gift of great style. lucky for ivy, brad decided to follow the spirit and give one of the most touching blessings i've ever heard. of course it was only touching to us, because well...we're her parents. i must say though, my most favorite thing that brad blessed her with was "the ability to reach out to those who are lonely, and tired from this life and be able to lift them up". i hope and pray this comes to pass. i hope she is someone that loves unconditionally and is kind to everyone. not just her friends and family, but everyone. which means, please bless she turns out exactly like her dad.
all in all it was a beautiful day. and seeing both of our families all sitting together in sacrament meeting was touching to me. a glimpse of the after-life. not to mention having them all over and sitting around laughing and eating. i live for these kinds of days.
p.s. i love how proud brad looks in that last picture.
ivy has been a smiling ball over here. melts me every time i see those gums shine! we can't get her to laugh when she's awake, but she laughs all the time when she's asleep. we live for that.
we did some shopping at city creek over the weekend and only shopped for brad and ivy. i refuse to step foot in any dressing rooms and get depressed about my body. so we kept it positive and had cheesecake instead from cheesecake factory. something that i'm 100% positive didn't help the body situation.
we had a camp fire the other night and i was smiling the entire time because of how obsessed i was with it. i never sat around one single fire this summer because of my lack of motivation to do anything while be pregnant. and plus my enormous body was usually in bed by 8 anyways, ha. so we whipped out some smore's and i felt set for life. we stayed up late talking and huddled with blankets around the fire which was also another added bonus. that whole night hit the spot.
ivy is officially 2 months now! i went in for her 2 month check up and they said it was time for her shots. i was thinking it would be a little prick and be over with. the good part is that it really was over with fast. but it sure wasn't a little prick. she was whaling. her reaction surprised me so bad that i didn't even dress her all the way. i wrapped her in her blanket and got the heck out of there so fast. the second i left the building i started bawling. i was shocked by my reaction too, but seeing her in so much pain ripped my heart out. i called up brad and begged him to take her in for her 4 month check up because i can't handle seeing her like that again. literally. i'm a wuss.
are you not obsessed with this fall weather? we can't help but be outside every chance we get. one of my favorite things lately has been throwing ivy in the stroller and walking around sugarhouse. i love finding new little shops and the trees are to die for.
on friday we hit up milli's burgers (shocker. we go there weekly now.) and went to the park. not that i don't love ivy's stage right now, but i can't wait till she's old enough to run around and play with us at the park. until then, we'll enjoy sitting under the tall trees and watching the other kids play:). after we came home and watched what to expect when your expecting. well, i think it's safe to say the feelings and memories of her birth are still so close in my heart, that i literally bawled throughout the entire movie. bawled and laughed. i don't know if you've seen it, but mine and brads favorite line of all time was, "i love my son so much, sometimes i get scared i'm literally going to eat him". we know that feeling all too well.
today is my 6 week mark since giving birth.
(saying that brad is excited is an understatement)
today i jumped on the tramp for the first time since ivy.
and let me tell you........it. felt. incredible.
each day i feel stronger and stronger, which i am truly so so grateful for.
i started running 2 weeks ago (more like walking with a bounce), and i started doing workouts from when i was teaching aerobics along with jillian michaels. i'll never, ever, ever, ever take my body for granted again. i also want to slap myself so hard for ever calling myself fat before. especially since i gained a gargantuan......wait for it....65 pounds. yup, 65. so ya, you can say i'm pretty ecstatic to be able to jump on a tramp again. and although i have what feels like a thousand pounds still left to lose, i'm so happy to be doing everything i once used to.
well, i can honestly say today was probably the most tired i've ever been in my life.
i think all the no sleep is finally catching up....and i have a feeling it's only just begun.
at 3 this morning when i heard her little duck quack cries telling me she's hungry, i almost couldn't get my body out of bed. literally. i laid there just blinking my eyes. somehow i did. and when i did the thought of changing her diaper seemed like running a half marathon. i think at one point i was even closing my eyes while wiping her bum.
the rest of the day has pretty much seemed like that. i've been dragging my body around the house.
brad came home and off i went to go grocery shopping. i was in the produce section and no joke, i sat there staring at the apples for about 5 minutes. i forgot everything and why i was even there and just sat there...staring. i'm sure i looked ridiculous standing there staring in my nasty pajama pants and greasy hair.
if you're a mom that gets ready every day....kudos.
my hat is forever off to you.
i'm still in yesterdays underwear and i barely brushed my teeth today.
i have a feeling i'm going to make motherhood look ugly and stinky.
thank goodness for sundays, or else i think i'd never get dressed. which is when these pictures were taken.
and thank goodness i'm so obsessed with loving her, or else days like these would be straight up torture.
i never knew how easy it would be to pick bogies out of my babies nose. especially with my gag reflexes.
i never knew how funny it would be to sit and watch your babies face while she was taking a huge poop.
i never knew how much pandora's comedy station would come in handy in the middle of the night.
i never knew how hard it would be to go to the bathroom while holding a baby in one arm the whole time.
i never knew i would be this non-stop all the time and yet still feel like i accomplished nothing in my day.
i never knew how hard moms actually work. emotionally.
i never knew how much i would think about the atonement after her birth. i can't even come close to comprehending giving my child to the world, for their sins no less.
i never knew or even had the thought of how much i would love seeing other people love my child.
i never knew i would get so feisty while touching my babies thighs. sometimes i have to walk away or else i would squeeze them to death.
i never knew how hideous stretch marks actually were until they were spread all throughout my body.
i never knew i could actually sit on my butt for 3 hours just staring at her face.
i never knew my nipples could feel so raw.
i never knew or thought i would be the type of person to explain to my mom how to feed a baby. ew, i want to slap myself thinking of when i told my mom how to hold the bottle so ivy didn't suck air. thank goodness my mom understands the mind set of a new mom. but still.....i'm so embarrassed. she's a professional for frick sakes.
i never knew brad would have such a huge crush on this girl. like....he's obsessed you guys. i'm genuinely jealous.
i never knew real love until now. and not just for my baby, but for brad for loving her. for my mom and dad for loving me. for brads mom and dad for loving him, and for friends and family loving and supporting us.
**those of you who are following me on instagram, i'm deeply sorry. seeing these pictures again can get pretty dang annoying.
my mom got us a condo up in park city for the weekend with the family. and thank goodness she did because it was truly a blast. and by blast i mean the laziest weekend of my life. being together sure brings out the "lazy sack" in us all. eating, talking, eating, reading celeb magazines, eating, watching keeping up with the kardashians...and eating, pretty much sums up what us weidners do best. not to mention dancing. this weekend was the first time i full out danced since the delivery. i was just waiting for me to lose all control of my body and rip open my incision. thank the high heavens i did not.
i had a huge fear that when my girl was born my music was going to come to a dead hault. well, if anything it's become even more a part of my life. it's constantly playing in the background while i'm feeding her, cleaning, walking, eating, showering and i promise even going to the bathroom. now, i'm not blazing some of the old stuff i would before she was born, but i have found some of the best music that is calming for me and i don't feel like i'm ruining her soul.
thought i'd share some with you...
the staves have stolen mine and brads heart and soul. their voices put us in a dream. they are constantly playing in the background of our house.
edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros have become a rapid fast favorite. this is only one of the many songs i've been loving from them.
brad introduced me to this song, by king creosote, and it captured my heart. its extremely calming and i love the words so much.
this next artist is also becoming a fast favorite. ryan darton. and he lived in salt lake for awhile so i consider him local:). not to mention he's an extremely nice person which makes him even more likeable.
and last but absolutely not least, husky. my sisters friend introduced these guys to us and ive been thanking him ever since.
well there ya have it. thank goodness for music eh?
the night before we left the hospital, one of the sweetest nurses came into our room to see if we needed anything else before leaving. she sat with us for a bit talking about how incredible these first months of having a baby are. she went on to explain that no matter how tired you are, or how stressful it may seem at first, this time will only be a small moment and to treasure every single day. even in the night when you're up with her and wanting to sleep, keep reminding yourself that you will eventually get sleep again, but you won't be able to hold her in your arms this way because they grow so fast.
well, i took her words to the very core of my heart. i don't know if that nurse will ever know the impact her words actually had on me. it's come to the point of actually looking forward to holding her in the night when she wakes up. it's so quiet, it feels calm, the lights are dim, and all she wants is to be held. rocking her, just us two, has become something i live for. i don't have to share her, i don't have to worry about things needing to get done, or even getting ready. it's just me and her awake while the world sleeps.
don't get me wrong, i still feel extremely tired in the day and it's hard to keep my eyes open in the night, but instead of feeling anxious and irritated from waking up, i feel like that nurse set me straight. i feel calm and a longing to hold her, and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such an angelic little girl. because she's right, she won't be "new" anymore. and there will come a day when she probably won't ever let me hold her this way again.