getting out.

friday night we hit up park city for some dinner and took a beautiful walk along the mountainside.  

i loved being out with the family. (i like saying family and referring to our threesome) 

the weather was pitch perfect with a slight breeze, and the nature was gorge. 

that fresh air was exactly what i needed. 

and seeing brad pee on the side of the trail and on his pants was just what i needed too. 

i think ivy loved it too because she kept making these girly sighs every 5 seconds in her stroller.

i'm gonna go kiss her chubby butt cheeks right now......just because i can. 

music i've been loving lately...

i had a huge fear that when my girl was born my music was going to come to a dead hault. well, if anything it's become even more a part of my life.  it's constantly playing in the background while i'm feeding her, cleaning, walking, eating, showering and i promise even going to the bathroom. now, i'm not blazing some of the old stuff i would before she was born, but i have found some of the best music that is calming for me and i don't feel like i'm ruining her soul.

thought i'd share some with you...

the staves have stolen mine and brads heart and soul.  their voices put us in a dream.  they are constantly playing in the background of our house.

edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros have become a rapid fast favorite.  this is only one of the many songs i've been loving from them.

brad introduced me to this song, by king creosote, and it captured my heart. its extremely calming and i love the words so much.



this next artist is also becoming a fast favorite.  ryan darton.  and he lived in salt lake for awhile so i consider him local:). not to mention he's an extremely nice person which makes him even more likeable.



and last but absolutely not least, husky. my sisters friend introduced these guys to us and ive been thanking him ever since.


well there ya have it.  thank goodness for music eh?

thank goodness for wise nurses.

the night before we left the hospital, one of the sweetest nurses came into our room to see if we needed anything else before leaving.  she sat with us for a bit talking about how incredible these first months of having a baby are.  she went on to explain that no matter how tired you are, or how stressful it may seem at first, this time will only be a small moment and to treasure every single day. even in the night when you're up with her and wanting to sleep, keep reminding yourself that you will eventually get sleep again, but you won't be able to hold her in your arms this way because they grow so fast. 

well, i took her words to the very core of my heart. i don't know if that nurse will ever know the impact her words actually had on me. it's come to the point of actually looking forward to holding her in the night when she wakes up.  it's so quiet, it feels calm, the lights are dim, and all she wants is to be held. rocking her, just us two, has become something i live for. i don't have to share her, i don't have to worry about things needing to get done, or even getting ready. it's just me and her awake while the world sleeps. 

don't get me wrong, i still feel extremely tired in the day and it's hard to keep my eyes open in the night, but instead of feeling anxious and irritated from waking up, i feel like that nurse set me straight. i feel calm and a longing to hold her, and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such an angelic little girl. because she's right, she won't be "new" anymore. and there will come a day when she probably won't ever let me hold her this way again. 

cousin love.

stace came over today to work her magic behind the camera on ivy.  

(which explains the white blanket)

i tell ya, she's a magician with that thing. 

in between shots, reese kept asking to hold "baby ivy". 

when she would hold her she would say over and over again in the cutest, highest pitch voice, 

"hi.....hi......hi.....hi", all while stroking her face or hand. 

these little moments do something to me that i can't explain. 

seeing her loving my little ivy so tenderly and petting her over and over again was like feeling heaven in my living room. watching her love my daughter so much and want to be near her and touch her was like watching angels interact. both these little people still have so much heavenly love that the world hasn't taken away from them yet. the purest of love. 

i can honestly say, i'm the happiest i've ever been in my life. 

i can't believe how scared (scared being a huge understatement) i was to have a kid. 

i love my little family so much. 

obsession.

 my heart can't handle these two. 

i'm so obsessed with how much he's obsessed with her.  

did that even make sense?

and i love even more that i feel like a third wheel when we're all hanging out. 

instagram catch up.

gosh her little oxygen tubes kill me. i can't wait till we can take those off for good.
i can't tell you how much i'm obsessed with this child. i could (and do) stare at her for hours. nothing else matters in my world. her milk breath, her stretches, her sad faces she makes while she's sleeping, her accidental smiles, her girly sighs, her staring back at me and brad...i could go on forever. this week has been the best with her in our lives.

i was texting pictures to brad while he was at work of Ivy, and he texted back, "gosh i love being a father". and he's a damn good one too. i've never been more turned on and in love with brad than when he's holding her, feeding her in the night, (for something that is supposed to be so natural, breastfeeding for me, is not.), burping her so gently, and going down to give her a kiss and ending up just laying his head next to hers because he can't stop kissing her.

the peace that comes with a sleeping child is heavenly. not because she's asleep, but because the house all of a sudden fills with an angelic feel. you can actually feel a little slice of heaven that's still so attached to her.

it's funny because before she was born, my main goal was to NOT get stretch marks. now i look at my chubby, morphed body that's drenched in stretch marks, and none of that matters anymore. it's funny how all of that goes out the door. all that matters now is keeping this little angel close and loving her. i'm sure one day i'll wake up and hate my body and do everything i can to get it back to normal, but for now, i'm just so grateful my body was capable of getting pregnant and was able to carry her for 9 months.

welp, she just woke up....gotta jet :).

p.s. a fantastic song we've been loving lately-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros-Child. give her a listen, you'll love it.

she's home, we're finally a family!

she's finally home!
all we've been doing today is laying on our bed staring at her.
we're beyond satisfied doing only that too.

last night the NICU  had us spend the night in one of their rooms with her because she's still on oxygen, so they wanted us to get used to the machine before discharging us. we were so excited to have a sleepover with our girl.  and ivy was pretty excited too because she freaking slept only one hour. which means, so did we. that morning we were both looking so rough. we were brushing our teeth and looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. brad said, " welcome to our new life".  i can only imagine having a full week with sleep like that. or a full month.

but i have to say, the times in the night when brad was laying down trying to sleep, while i was rocking her with her wide eyes staring right up at me, with only the dim light on....were priceless. it makes me want to cry thinking about it. or at 2:30 in the morning she had a huge dukie that was so loud. me and brad were hovering over her little bed trying to change her and laughing so hard because of how intense her farts were.  those are the moments i know we're going to live for.  ahhhhhhhhh, i can't wait!

introducing....

Ivy Charone {sher-on} Elder

born July 31st, 2012

coming into the world at a gigantic 9 lbs 14 ounces.

after 22 hours of labor, and a c-section,

she was finally in our arms...but only for literally a few minutes.

she had to be rushed down to the NICU and has been there ever since.

we're praying she's out by next week, but until then, we literally look forward to every. single. second we get to spend with her.

she's in there because hypoglycemia is pretty common with newborns who have type 1 diabetic mammas.

her poor little body is so used to having to produce more insulin because of my sugars.

so until they're regulated, we don't get to hold her.

literally the hardest thing we've ever had to do was say goodbye to her.

it's funny because our home seems so empty now.

and it was so depressing seeing her empty carseat in the back on the way home.

oh my gosh do we love her. now i know what all you motha's out there are talking about when they talk about love. it's indescribable really.

but here's to hoping we get her all to ourselves next week!!