strollin.

are you not obsessed with this fall weather? we can't help but be outside every chance we get. one of my favorite things lately has been throwing ivy in the stroller and walking around sugarhouse. i love finding new little shops and the trees are to die for. 

on friday we hit up milli's burgers (shocker. we go there weekly now.) and went to the park. not that i don't love ivy's stage right now, but i can't wait till she's old enough to run around and play with us at the park. until then, we'll enjoy sitting under the tall trees and watching the other kids play:). after we came home and watched what to expect when your expecting. well, i think it's safe to say the feelings and memories of her birth are still so close in my heart, that i literally bawled throughout the entire movie. bawled and laughed. i don't know if you've seen it, but mine and brads favorite line of all time was, "i love my son so much, sometimes i get scared i'm literally going to eat him". we know that feeling all too well. 

my sweet ivy.

heaven help me. 

i could die. 

i could freaking die.

gosh, i can smell her sweet skin just looking at these pictures. 

stace, i've never been more grateful.

i love not being pregnant.

today is my 6 week mark since giving birth.
(saying that brad is excited is an understatement)
today i jumped on the tramp for the first time since ivy.
and let me tell you........it. felt. incredible.

each day i feel stronger and stronger, which i am truly so so grateful for.
i started running 2 weeks ago (more like walking with a bounce), and i started doing workouts from when i was teaching aerobics along with jillian michaels. i'll never, ever, ever, ever take my body for granted again. i also want to slap myself so hard for ever calling myself fat before. especially since i gained a gargantuan......wait for it....65 pounds. yup, 65. so ya, you can say i'm pretty ecstatic to be able to jump on a tramp again. and although i have what feels like a thousand pounds still left to lose, i'm so happy to be doing everything i once used to.

i'm tired.

well, i can honestly say today was probably the most tired i've ever been in my life. 

i think all the no sleep is finally catching up....and i have a feeling it's only just begun.

at 3 this morning when i heard her little duck quack cries telling me she's hungry, i almost couldn't get my body out of bed. literally. i laid there just blinking my eyes. somehow i did. and when i did the thought of changing her diaper seemed like running a half marathon. i think at one point i was even closing my eyes while wiping her bum.

the rest of the day has pretty much seemed like that. i've been dragging my body around the house. 

brad came home and off i went to go grocery shopping.  i was in the produce section and no joke, i sat there staring at the apples for about 5 minutes. i forgot everything and why i was even there and just sat there...staring.  i'm sure i looked ridiculous standing there staring in my nasty pajama pants and greasy hair.

if you're a mom that gets ready every day....kudos. 

my hat is forever off to you. 

i'm still in yesterdays underwear and i barely brushed my teeth today. 

i have a feeling i'm going to make motherhood look ugly and stinky.

thank goodness for sundays, or else i think i'd never get dressed. which is when these pictures were taken.

and thank goodness i'm so obsessed with loving her, or else days like these would be straight up torture.

things i never knew before having a baby.....

i never knew how easy it would be to pick bogies out of my babies nose. especially with my gag reflexes.

i never knew how funny it would be to sit and watch your babies face while she was taking a huge poop.
i never knew how much pandora's comedy station would come in handy in the middle of the night.
i never knew how hard it would be to go to the bathroom while holding a baby in one arm the whole time.
i never knew i would be this non-stop all the time and yet still feel like i accomplished nothing in my day.
i never knew how hard moms actually work.  emotionally.
i never knew how much i would think about the atonement after her birth.  i can't even come close to comprehending giving my child to the world, for their sins no less.
i never knew or even had the thought of how much i would love seeing other people love my child.
i never knew i would get so feisty while touching my babies thighs.  sometimes i have to walk away or else i would squeeze them to death.
i never knew how hideous stretch marks actually were until they were spread all throughout my body.
i never knew i could actually sit on my butt for 3 hours just staring at her face.
i never knew my nipples could feel so raw.
i never knew or thought i would be the type of person to explain to my mom how to feed a baby. ew, i want to slap myself thinking of when i told my mom how to hold the bottle so ivy didn't suck air. thank goodness my mom understands the mind set of a new mom.  but still.....i'm so embarrassed. she's a professional for frick sakes.
i never knew brad would have such a huge crush on this girl. like....he's obsessed you guys. i'm genuinely jealous.
i never knew real love until now. and not just for my baby, but for brad for loving her.  for my mom and dad for loving me. for brads mom and dad for loving him, and for friends and family loving and supporting us.

labor day weekend in park city.

**those of you who are following me on instagram, i'm deeply sorry.  seeing these pictures again can get pretty dang annoying.

my mom got us a condo up in park city for the weekend with the family.  and thank goodness she did because it was truly a blast. and by blast i mean the laziest weekend of my life. being together sure brings out the "lazy sack" in us all. eating, talking, eating, reading celeb magazines, eating, watching keeping up with the kardashians...and eating, pretty much sums up what us weidners do best. not to mention dancing. this weekend was the first time i full out danced since the delivery. i was just waiting for me to lose all control of my body and rip open my incision. thank the high heavens i did not.